Pride is not a garment, nor is it a performance. And indeed, it is never done to ease people out of ignorance. For far too long, the entire Filipino queer community has been trapped in a narrow stereotype perpetuated by heterosexuals: queer men are feminine, queer women are masculine—and if you don’t measure up to their level of digestion, you’re not snarky, or sassy enough.
There is pressure to co-ordinate and change our identity, so that the world remains well. This is the trap of conditional tolerance: We are stuck in a system that celebrates heresy as a form of entertainment, but remains silent when human rights are demanded.
The community welcomes and pushes nerds into the limelight with their wit and humor, and has brought comic relief to our community for generations, from daytime shows to today’s internet celebrities. But when their intelligence and will show, they are excluded from the real seats of change due to their sexuality.
Every June, people celebrate Pride month. Cool events, limited drink offers, occasional discounts, free tokens—the beauty is great, and it’s fun! Everyone wants a little bit of that rainbow capitalism. People want to be in trend; they’re posting their live comments online, watching whatever popular classic show is trending, or posting rainbow emojis. Organizations, on the other hand, publish simple TikToks to use the sound of exposure or even offer a product of pride to earn money.
But go look at the public response when people stage anti-apartheid protests outside of June. Hear the laughs, see the lights directed at the youth advocate for the SOGIE bill.
The same people who relied on elites for comic relief, the same people who benefited in one way or another from Pride, are the same ones who scoff when equal rights are demanded and get offended when a bill meant to protect bigots—by punishing discrimination in specific areas, such as educational institutions, workplaces, and public accommodations—is forgotten. A bill that does not harm them in any way, a bill that only guarantees against discrimination, somehow seems like a small inconvenience, which is already too much for them.
People tend to forget that the queer community actually exists as people beyond Pride month. That they are not sitcom characters on the screen, but citizens of this very country.
Above all, we are human.
If standing up for the queer community outside of June is considered brave, then it is necessary courage. If discrimination is rampant during Pride month, you can only imagine what happens during the rest of the year when the rough community is not a profitable beauty.
If society tells a society of idiots either to live in their normal state or to live wisely in order to be accepted, that is not acceptable. That is conditional tolerance. And that, instead of sweetness, is unacceptable because human rights cannot be discussed. The moment you see a community of idiots as a subject for approval by the majority is when you reduce their rights to mere privileges.
A society that demands performance from its citizens instead of tolerance is nothing but a society that fears change. The system values equality over the humanity of its people.
Pride is not just a subject of acceptance, nor is it a subject of personal identity. It’s about breaking the cycle. One that is essential to a democracy that is honest, inclusive, and most of all- functional.
However, this conditional tolerance did not just appear out of nowhere. This particular stain in our democracy did not start in the offices, but in our neighborhoods. It is something deeply buried in the common culture of the Philippines.
At some point in the life of every Filipino, we have witnessed someone directing his nose to someone, scan their clothes or walk, then go… “That’s gay, of course,”
They bet, then you will hear laughter.
There is a special dress code in analyzing queers. For “queer boys,” they had to speak softly or in a weird voice, their hips had to sway when they walked, or maybe they were wearing pink. For “stupid girls,” it was very simple: tomboy. Short hair, never wear skirts or dresses, masculine energy.
Turning one’s identity into a gambling game is already one thing; another common classification that contributes to a systemic problem. People say it’s not bad, people say it’s just light. And understand the system we grew up in, where it is normal, where it is normal? Maybe they really believe that.
But when someone says it doesn’t hurt, that’s when it becomes a lie.
If a funny person does not fit the standard of heterosexuality: if it is a man who likes men, or if it is a woman who likes women – then they are not taken seriously.
Society tells them they’re not crazy enough, which leads stupid people to force themselves into this narrow standard just to survive or feel accepted—but they feel even more delusional in their own skin, in a society that already treats them that way and will only discriminate against them in the end.
In this society, conversation has become a necessity for a society of idiots.
The wizarding community –stupid children-they have to map out what parts of themselves they are allowed to bring into the room, and what version of the skin they are allowed to wear.
Being repeatedly told directly and indirectly by society that they are wrong just for being, makes them constantly clean themselves up. To get down. To reduce their intensity. Turning yourself into a pill for homophobes to swallow, so they can feel comfortable breathing and doing well in the spaces where one should be allowed to grow.
Compromising their integrity just to feel safe.
That is a sign of democratic failure. To be silenced like this, let’s lose ourselves a little in the process. To turn its citizens into activists instead of advocates.
Forcing them to loosen their grip on the very things that empower them: their truth, and their voice.
Pride comes from love, but it is not only about love. Marriage and social acceptance are not the only issues here. Queer people are citizens of this country with complex needs and many layers. Queer people are also students, workers, parents, and taxpayers. Mentioning this is important, because pride is reduced to complaints about love, when in fact it is a fight for our space and security.
Ignoring the complexities of the queer does nothing but perpetuate more extreme discrimination, which will lead to superficial policies that won’t solve the real problems people face.
People can be biased, that’s a fact. But let’s look back at social acceptance.
There is one fact that you cannot erase—the queer people are still citizens of this democratic country.
Freedom to love and build a legally recognized family. Freedom of expression in reality. Freedom to exist safely. Those are things that this democracy should be able to provide to its citizens, whether they care or not.
Not only are these the basis of democratic citizenship, but also basic human rights. It’s not something we have to earn through entertainment or overcompensation. As long as high security is conditional on how much society restrains itself, it is not acceptance but discrimination in disguise.
Accepting conditional tolerance as acceptance, and expecting bad citizens to do and find their place in a society that cannot tolerate discomfort for the sake of humanity, is simply erasing human complexity.
The Philippines is a nation of many cultures and classes. It is very deep, only for people to refuse to look beyond the surface. The needs of our nation are very diverse and complex. Health services, education, economy, and everything else, to serve our Filipino people. And a democracy that ignores this is one that is defeated by its own authority.
In order to have a true democracy, the nation must involve itself in the difficult affairs of its people. Sift through every layer of his people, thick or thin, without missing a beat. This means looking at everyone, not just the most visible, but the minorities in every sector as well- and this includes the nerd community.
If the system continues to repeat the same ideas, often flawed, because they only choose to talk to each other, listen to the majority of society with a narrow world view, a personal view—then it creates an echo chamber of unconscious bias, where it captures even more those minorities who are often not represented or excluded.
Diversity is not just a “nice to have,” It’s not just something you see as “giving people a say” or “giving them grace”. Diversity is not just that, because in a country like this, where we become an echo chamber—it is a functional requirement.
To solve the real problems our country faces, we need the genuine and unfiltered input of people who have lived outside the mainstream. Not to say that the mainstream is wrong, but rather to hear creativity from perspectives they wouldn’t otherwise have. Because if every decision maker in the room lives the same, they won’t see the blind spots that would affect all of their people. These people will not see through some of the cracks in the system, because they never fell through it in the first place.
Few experience these cracks in their daily lives.
This is not about natural excellence, but there is a certain resilience and attitude that comes from necessity. The community of idiots, in their individual rights, often have to be the main arbitrators, and turn to non-cultural solutions just to exist in a society that does not fully accept them. Along with many other minorities, queer people exist in their daily lives, experiencing social stigma, bureaucracy, and legal barriers. This alone creates ideas that the common ordinary citizen cannot have. And that is the attitude that is needed in democratic dialogue because when difficult problems arise, you cannot impose a common, common solution to fix them.
The country needs innovation, a different perspective. It is not to step on the rules, but to lift each other up.
Like right.
But we live in a system and society that punishes us for being different. We live in a society that gives our best as needed, but reduces us so that they can live comfortably. A democracy that trades human rights for sweetness and comfort is not only incomplete—it is a play.
And as long as we the queer community are treated as puppets based on how we humble ourselves, then we are not seen as citizens. Not even human. And a nation that refuses to see its people for who they are—to trade their potential for the comfort of the status quo—is missing not only a rogue community, but the very democracy it claims to represent.
