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Recently, Russell Shaw realized that he had texted his children the same words—Very loud-133 times since 2020. “Each story, I’m sure, was consistent,” he writes. “I was in bed, thinking about my schedule for the next day—a board meeting, a tough conversation I needed to have—when from downstairs I heard noises. Laughter. Trash talk over a video game… Or maybe it was someone who decided at 11 p.m. that they were going to do it. to die without a McFlurry, start a conversation about who should place a DoorDash order.
The texts Shaw sent weren’t just incidents of minor annoyance: They were a record of a precious time, he writes, when his children and their friends were always around and the house was full. “My children knew, I think, that Very loud the text was not what it seemed to be—that, yes, I was saying Put it downbut what I meant was closer I know you are there; I’m glad you’re here.”
Shaw wishes he knew exactly what he was trying to tell them; but that’s what happens, he writes. “You don’t know you’re in good years until you stand in the silence they left behind.” Today’s newsletter explores what we share with our families, and what we find difficult to say.
On the Family
Words I wrote to my children 133 times
Written by Russell Shaw
And all the things you didn’t say
Mr. Rogers Had a Simple Set of Rules for Talking to Children
By Maxwell King
The television presenter had an incredible understanding of how children understand language.
Questions We Don’t Ask Our Families But We Should
Written by Elizabeth Keating
Most people don’t know much about their older relatives. But if we don’t ask, we risk not knowing our own history.
Still Curious?
Other detours
PS
I recently asked readers to share a photo of something that makes them wonder in the world. “On my morning walk today, where there was a small wall a few days ago, a peony bloomed in a combination of colors I have never seen,” Bliss G. writes. “As I stood, stunned by the beauty of the dark and light pink, the flowers reminded me that not every day is quite the same.”
I will continue to focus on your responses in the coming weeks.
— Isabel
