They say that a mother’s love is like no other. What’s more if there are two of them in the picture?
Just ask Meann and Icy, who have dreamed of having their own family one day.
It was in 2017 when the two met for the first time on an online dating platform. At the time, Meann, an IT professional, had been single for three years, and Icy, who works in advertising, had just gotten out of a long-distance relationship. Common interest in Harry Potter it would help them hit it off with each other almost immediately.
It’s a popular feature of dating apps to let you see how close or far away your match is from you (the closer, the better, right?). Unfortunately, the two had lived only a short distance from each other, not knowing that just five years later, they would be living under the same roof with their son.
Long way to get pregnant
Meann and Icy have long loved their aunt and niece, finding joy in playing with them and helping to care for them. However, as a same-sex couple, having a child of our own never seemed within reach.
However, the dream continued. The two had often talked about what it would be like to raise their own child, but the country’s laws made it difficult for them. In the Philippines, assisted reproductive procedures such as in vitro fertilization (IVF) or intrauterine insemination (IUI) – which can give those struggling to have children of their own – only available legally married couple.
For years, then, parenthood did not seem easy for the couple at all. That is, until Icy found out that the company she was working for at the time was offering fertility support, and LGBTQ+ couples could avail themselves of those benefits, too. Before they knew it, they were on a plane headed to New Jersey for what would be the beginning of their journey to start a family.
They decided to do it IUIwhere the sperm is inserted into the uterus through a catheter. It is a less expensive and less invasive procedure compared to IVF, and it gave both Icy and Meann the chance of pregnancy.
Icy’s pregnancy test in 2023 will only mark the beginning of the best years of their lives. That same year, they got married in the United States as well. But going through something as life-changing as a pregnancy away from home wasn’t easy.
“(During our) stay in the United States, there was a lot of anxiety,” Meann, 39, told Rappler. “We are not sure if we will be able to grow, because in order to grow a child, it moves around. You will wait for your period (We weren’t sure if we could make a baby, because it’s a cycle. You need to wait for your period).”
When Icy became pregnant with their son, Jacob, they decided it was time to return home to the Philippines after spending almost five months in the United States.
“It was scary,” Icy, 39, said of her pregnancy journey. “When we did the sperm donor and the whole process, we had a specialist prepare us.”
The couple was guided through the pregnancy and even taught how to describe their unique family to their future child. They were told that when the time comes to explain their situation to their child, they must have a solid story.
“What the story should be, is what we always tell Jacob. And just tell the truth that he has two mothers, and we wanted a child for a very long time. And he was created with love, that’s why we asked for help from donors,“ Icy explained.
(Whatever the story is, it must be the one we always tell Jacob. And just tell the truth that he has two mothers, and we wanted a child for a very long time. And he was created with love, that’s why we asked for help from donors.)
Life with Jacob
In November 2023, their son Jacob was finally born.
Now, at just over 2 years old, Jacob is shy around others. Around his moms, however, he’s as expressive as ever and isn’t afraid to do a dance or two and sing whatever he feels like.
Icy and Meann are trying to raise him as screen-free as possible. Because of that, he has become a big fan of books, and since then, the bookstore has become his favorite place.
He takes after both his mothers in several ways.
Icy, who calls him mother, believes that Jacob’s good personality comes from her, as the person he was called. stubborn (of dancing). His love for music has spilled over to him, too. Now, he loves musical instruments and loves to sing and listen to his favorite songs.
But it is Meann, whom he calls mother, who finds his side of identity. “Sometimes, ‘when he’s not in the mood, he really isn’t in the mood. Sometimes he has his own world (Sometimes, when he’s not in that mood, he’s really not in that mood. He’s got his own world sometimes).”
More than seeing things inside Jacob, it is experiencing life through his eyes that has made motherhood a wonderful experience for Icy and Meann.
“As a couple, we enjoy being together. We travel a lot. So, mas masayan and, for example, we go back to Singapore and Hong Kong and see it from a different perspective. The first time (is Jacob) sa lahat,” they said.
(As a couple, we enjoy being together. We travel a lot. So, it’s even more fun now that, for example, we go back to Singapore and Hong Kong and see it from a different perspective. It’s the first time for Jacob to experience everything.)
But the ordinary moments make Meann, Icy, and Jacob’s life as a family even more special. Lying in bed together on a Saturday afternoon, running errands, going to coffee shops on the weekend – these are the memories they would never trade for the world.
@mimi.annn Another post from my drafts 😆 this is just a normal day for us on sunday. I’m thinking and maybe considering not having audio on my little blogs because this is easier to edit, but I don’t know guys, which one do you prefer? Haha #wlw #two moms #lgbtqfamily #uhluhwuh #minivlog ♬ original sound – Meaning | 2mamaFam 🏳️🌈 – Meaning | 2mamaFam 🏳️🌈🇵🇭
However, the couple admits that it is a big responsibility to have a child, and advise future parents to prepare to a great extent.
“Having children is no joke. You need to be financially, emotionally and physically stable as well. Because the birth phase is very difficult. We said, if there was a chance when we were young, I wish we would have done it, because it’s hard to stay awake at this age,“ Because he said.
(Raising a baby is not a joke. You have to be financially, emotionally, and physically strong. Because the baby phase is difficult. We have said that if we had the chance to have a baby when we were young, we would have done it, because it is difficult to sleep late at this age.)
Most of all, Icy wants gays to know that there is hope.
“For (those in the) same-sex community who want to have a family, there is always a way to do that,” he said. “When we were all born, we all have different stories of how our mothers gave birth to us. And at the same time, there are different stories of these same-sex families about how they went down the aisle. which we know is not easy (that we all know was not easy) to build their own family.”
And when the time comes, these children will be sure to receive and witness love in all forms. – Rappler.com
