The only thing anyone can honestly tell you about middle age is that it is the middle of life. What is the middle? Well, it is after the beginning, and before the end.
Well, we can do better than that: Middle age comes after adulthood, and before what we used to call “old age” but can now more elegantly refer to as “old age” or “late life.” But to get more specific, to know when indeed, middle age begins and ends, it is a big challenge.
The the average life expectancy in the United States is 79 years. So if you cut that in half, 39.5 is the correct fraction of the average life expectancy for Americans. But that doesn’t reveal much—middle age is not just a point in time but a phase of life. How long does that phase last? When does it start? When does it end? How can you tell when you’re in it? These, it turns out, are very fraught questions.
I’m 35. Is a 35-year-old middle-aged? If you ask my friends, they will be quick to say that I am “still young,” but a word not yet it carries a warranty detail that I find disturbing. Is a 66-year-old retiree middle-aged? Maybe, maybe not – but they they certainly don’t want to be called “old.” Is a 29-year-old middle-aged? Certainly not, yet The The Wall Street Journal ran the story A few years ago about 20-somethings who claimed they saw middle age.
When researchers ask the public about when middle age begins and ends, they get a variety of answers. In one observationthe average answer put the average age as constant from 40 to 60. In another, the average British person said that middle age starts at 35 (hello!) and ends at 58. Meanwhile, 55 percent of Americans think 65 is still middle aged. And according to that Journal Myth, 20 percent of people ages 25 to 34 say they feel middle-aged.
If anyone could answer with authority the question “When is middle age?” I thought it would be Margie Lachman. He is a midlife psychologist at Brandeis University and the author of a recent book Primetime: A New Vision for the Middle Ages; he has also worked on the largest longitudinal study Midlife in the United States (MIDUS) for the entire 30-plus years it has been running. Yet even he cannot decide on a firm definition of when middle age begins and ends. His official definition, in his book and his research, is 40 to 60, “plus or minus 10 years.” Even among the elite, the boundaries of middle age are fuzzy.
One reason for the phenomenon, Lachman told me, is that how you think about middle age depends on how old you are now. The older people are, the slower they think middle age begins and ends. According to data shared by Lachman from MIDUS, people in their 20s define middle age as starting around 39 or 40 and ending around 53, 54, or 55. Those numbers increase with each successive decade of life. The oldest group in the study, people in their 70s, say middle age starts around 48 or 49 and ends at 62 to 65.
Age can be blamed for much of this. In a youth-oriented culture, it makes sense that people want to keep themselves young for as long as possible. In primetimeLachman writes that he has found that many people in their early 40s “absolutely resist the idea that they are middle-aged,” and many in their late 60s or 70s “insist that they are middle-aged.” not yet middle-aged.” Indeed, research shows that the older a person is, the later they think old age starts. And middle age has its own branding problem: “The No. 1 word associated with middle life is crisis,” Chip Conley—founder of the Modern Elder Academy, an organization that offers workshops for making the most of midlife, and author of Learning to Love Midlife– he told me. (This party continues despite the evidence to show what a midlife crisis it is most of them are stories.)
On top of that, the appearance of aging itself is changing. Celebrities get plastic surgery, Botox, and fillers to retain or restore youthful faces—and that’s it more clear about it than it was before—it’s more confusing how we see the phases of life. (To say 70-year-old Kris Jenner is “old” feels odd when, after all. a much-publicized faceliftthe skin of his face is so stretched that you can detect a single flaw.) Even the faces of ordinary people who are not generally active age more slowly; cut informationbecause in general, people smoke less than they used to and use more sunscreen. Anti-wrinkle retinol is widely available in creams, gels, and serums at any old drugstore. Anti-aging is now a common part of beauty too some children they use products to prevent wrinkles that are about to appear.
This is not the only factor that is holding back our old poles. Many of the events that people once used to define adulthood (marriage, owning a home, having children) happen later in life, if they happen at all. Given the association of middle age with responsibility, perhaps people do not feel middle aged unless they are bound in some way. Indeed, some 20-somethings who said they felt middle age were linked to becoming parents or taking on major work responsibilities at a young age.
Also complicating the definition of middle age is the fact that people are live longer. And when they do, the quality of their lives in their later years will vary according to their physical and mental limitations. Because American culture has such a negative view of what it means to be “old”—all the pain and forgetting where you put your car keys—if someone gets old and feels good, they can imagine. I can’t be old, because I can do everything I want to doLachman said. And if they don’t feel old, they may continue to identify as middle-aged into their 60s and beyond.
Increasing longevity is one of the reasons Conley sees middle age as the longest stage of life. He believes it lasts from 35 to 75, in three stages: “early midlife,” from 35 to 50; “primary middle life,” from 50 to 60; and “later life time,” from 60 to 75. Although 75 may seem like pushing it, given that the average American life expectancy is 79, Conley said that “for mathematical reasons,” the longer someone has lived, the more likely they are to live. That is to say: 79 is an average that takes into account all deaths from people of all ages. And by the time you reach 65, you’ve avoided many of the things that might have killed you when you were younger. According to Social Security Administrationlife expectancy for a 65-year-old American is actually 83 for men and 86 for women. And I haven’t seen anyone trying to claim that an 80-year-old is still middle-aged.
Lachman was playful when I put in the numbers, but really, that’s not how he likes to define middle age. “Age doesn’t tell you much about anyone, except how long they’ve lived,” he told me. He prefers to think of middle age in terms of the roles people play in their lives and in their society. Being middle-aged, for him, means truly being in the middle—having people younger and older than you look to you for support and guidance. That could mean you’re in the sandwich generation: taking care of the kids and starting to support aging parents. Or it could mean that you are a leader in your workplace, mentoring younger colleagues and trusted by older ones. “In middle life, you generally give more than you get,” Lachman said.
This definition of middle life it also has vague boundaries, which Lachman readily acknowledges. But despite the ambiguity of when middle age actually is, he and Conley believe it’s an important term. “Being in the middle of anything, I think, is a very important thing,” Lachman said. “It’s a great opportunity to look back and look forward.”
At this point in my desire to clarify middle ageI started to lose my grip a little. If you want to be right about it, life has only one beginning and one end, and everything else is in between. So a 2-year-old may be middle-aged. A 90-year-old may be middle-aged. We are all born middle-aged, then we die.
Just kidding. Ultimately, middle age can be better understood as a feeling that comes to you than as a turning point. Nothing brings it on, although parenting, parenting, or other responsibilities may trigger it. It’s a time in life that is often exhausting and rewarding: when you’ve lived long enough to have learned some lessons, and also have plenty of time ahead of you to make changes. That may be correct, but it is still unsatisfactory. I want a number! So I asked Lachman: If you to have to choose, when does middle age begin and end? “45 to 65,” he said. So there you have it. I’m officially “still young” for 10 more years, if anyone is asking.
When you buy a book using a link on this page, we receive a commission. Thank you for your support Atlantic.
